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33 Chemical Habits Like I said, I did not have a life by then,
except for Nitty and the doos, that is.
In attempting to change that,
I decided to move with Nitty to Israel.
I was always the guiding force
when hormones were not involved.

Die Hard SDR fans like Nitty and myself always have
a dark habit beyond their control,
always more powerful than the chemicals.

Lucky for me, mine is just hormones, like most men.

Nitty has a habit of being chased to other ends of planets
by wanna-do-me's, especially if they also happen to be
younger sisters of someone from the close vicinity.
After all, she is one. Pride can carry a long way.

Being a prophetic fairy witch, its not even hard.

She was preparing for the encounter with the first lawyer,
whilst in The States, as we were packing our things to plan
our life together in Israel.
Every box had a name.
Not what was in it, just who it belongs to.
Not a single box had shared property.

You don't need a lawyer at all if you are that capable as a prophet.
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34 Legal Issues The first lawyer came from Israel to The States
to scout me for doos several months earlier.
A younger sister of the wife of a very close friend,
we have been conversing doos for some fifteen or so
years by then.

Nitty was busy not knowing the lawyer exists,
and was trying to pull some heavy duty fights,
just to make sure she ends up on some
other end of the planet anyway.

The lawyer was confident with the upcoming victory.
We had our usual friendship style meetings,
like we used to whenever we chanced to meet
in the past fifteen years.

But the night meetings at her place,
with Europeanly polite talks in her living room
grew longer, while Nitty was scouting for airline
tickets, without telling me.

I didn't want to tell Nitty about the lawyer because
nothing was going on and I didn't want to
piss her off for nothing.
My hormones had other plans,
and while coupled with Nitty,
they probably knew she is scouting for airplanes,
and started scouting for lawyers. Whatever works.

Totally unaware of the fact that
Nitty is already in possession of an airline ticket,
at two past midnight the lawyer says I look very tired.
Being the hostess, she forces me to her bed to sleep.
She is well protected by her legal paperwork.
we just sleep, right? friends.

Her stomach is gentle to the touch when she puts my hand on top of it.

So my hormones raise the hand towards the hill.

Lawyers need to stay protected,
so she brought over the papers
and started talking:

Let it be known, for the record, to all that will later ask,
that you have just made a pass at me,
as thus far it was just friendship [semi-naked in bed],
whereas you are the one who made the first do-move.

I signed the paper, but quickly showed it to her
older sister's husband the next morning.
I have to be safe too.

We spent six months together,
while Nitty was safely away in some
eastern end of the planet, and a month after we broke up
Nitty came for the next round.
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35 The Dead Man in Yossarian's tent The boxes arrived from The States some three weeks
after we came to Israel to live together.
Nitty was long since gone,
safely away in Thailand or something.
The boxes did not have to be opened,
and were neatly organized at the space
by the entrance to our - my now - apartment.

In a short while the random guests were beginning
to query why boxes are still unopened:

And that is?

Oh, that is just The Dead Man in Yossarian's tent.
Ignore it.

Nitty arrived back in Israel some six months
later for some more doos.
She had done Vipassana and was very hungry.

This time around it was very clean, at least on my end.

She used to come over on Wednesdays,
doing me till Tuesday non-stop,
then taking a week and change break
until the next round of doos.

Kruder and Dorfmeister were closely
monitoring the Sessions several times a day,
to make sure we don't stop the Sessions before they do.

After some six months,
by the time the K&D Sessions finished torturing us,
I was ready to teach Tantra to the Governor of Goa.
(I have never to date visited with the Indians.)
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36 Internet Days The second lawyer was the first of the Internet round.
She did me at first meet.
She was dead. It only took ten minutes once.

Coming out, I rolled over speechless,
imitating the Last Tango in Paris.

So it was that bad?


I will leave soon.


She left.

From Your Bed I Gained a Day and Lost a Bloody Year...
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