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700 Helicopters There is this guy I tried to kill so many times
it is mind boggling that I never succeeded.
And I was willing to die for it. every time.
When I was done trying, he tried to kill me,
and was equally enthusiastic and unsuccessful.

On my first flight as a helicopter pilot,
I took my my instructor for a thank you lunch in a nearby airport.
My treat, my flight.
Landing looked a bit hairy, I gave him the controls:
If you please...
and we crashed.
neither with a scratch.
But the ship was a pile of junk
that a metal scraper would have a hard time dealing with.