M Database Inspector (cheetah)
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|Sat, May 10 2008||10||Women||
I called Merav that horrid day to tell her I am canceling
on our blind date.
I just feel sick and can't see myself getting on a scooter
to meet her the next evening.
Later that afternoon a doctor came to my place to visit for
two hundred NIS, and told me I was just dehydrating,
but if the vomits continue, I should use the paper
he wrote me and go to the hospital.
When the golden haired angel came to see me and called
his doctor friend, he was instructed for us to rush over.
Do I feel Lucky?
By the time we hit the emergency room I took a dive
from my entire height and into the floor,
covering it with red paint as I wake up.
It was a pretty serious blind date.
I was so blind I couldn't even tell she was religious,
let alone married, or having three kids already.
How can people be so heartless?
I need a friend.
|Thu, May 15 2008||15||Women||
When we first met, she told me she and her
husband just live together.
Its just an arrangement - she said - resulting from the fact she
is very religious and they had three kids together.
So they live in the same house, and that is it.
She is all alone and has no sex life, and she is yeanrning.
After a few days, while discovering slowly this is not
quite the case, she told me that what she does with
her husband is none of my business.
So I told her this being the case I'd rather she find some
other sucker to fuck.
|Fri, May 16 2008||20||Women||
The problem, as usual,
is what do I do with the cat?
As usual that is, because I have been looking for her
for some years now.
As usual, because yet again reality gave
me less than 24 hours to make a decision.
Thank God I'm quick,
or I will not have the seconds for this writing,
branula and all.
And even have time to dress for the occasion,
given that the sabbath had already landed,
while I was injecting into my vein.
They just told me I had a crab on dad's lefty the other day,
and later dropped it down to fifty,
then straight down to zero,
save a 50 for a cool mill -
not a bad deal at that.
The golden haired angel thinks he just had a fight with me,
because I yelled at him to leave my hospital.
Thirty seconds later she showed behind the corner.
Yet another delirous Jacob.
I think I just started smoking again - for the same reason
he had started smelling life.
The black excuse is not even close.
|Fri, May 16 2008||30||Women||
A dying nation.
Musicals are nice.
I have been watching my hair for the past week with intensity
every day nearly all day long.
Technology is nice too.
From virtualDub to a Sony Erricson k610i,
to a hospital virtual reality.
Women always like men smart and funny.
I can tell you a joke and you will giggle to the ground,
beacuase it was really funny,
and for you, I am the funniest person in the world anyway.
But if I tell you the same joke again tomorrow,
suddenly I am not so funny anymore.
With music, its not the same.
You can listen to the same piece over and over again.
You can listen to separate tracks or separate instruments
or separate emotions,
with time and again new and surprising variation.
With musicals you can do that with each square inch of the
screen separately, as each is separately choreographed.
And if you do you discover that so are the characters,
so you can watch each of them too.
So doing it the Ray way, like with the guitar, is a natural.
Just watch Jean at the Donna scene.
Then Woof and Lafayette.
George at least, I take it you already know to some degree,
not breaking a single glass and everything.
|Thu, May 15 2008||40||Women||
She called three times in anonimity yesterday,
and I thought it might have been her,
and I did not pick up,
and my eyes were swolen when he told me he'd
rather give me a cool mill than an MRI.
He is as ground as semolina by now.
I've seen his department.
They come in and start whining about how you
are an ass, while you dress their wounds.
Today I bought a nurse coffee after I made my own likewise mess.
she almost burst in tears, saying:
We always go overbaord to please, and get complaints. Its grinding.
I know - I said.
Later, I secretly went to check and see if she actually
drank the coffee. She did.
I saw a man abusing a chair the other day.
He knows how to make justice,
and is a sucker of absolutly no one and no thing.
Five O'clock in the morning he wanted a shower.
But there are no more towels and the nurse had told him
new ones will be around on or about seven thirty.
I was letting him in on my private stash of three,
offering him one, but he is no sucker.
He pays taxes, and its their job to supply the towel.
But I don't need them - I said -
I also got one from home.
My wife had one neatly folded for me in my bag too -
he said - but she can't sucker me out of my well paid
taxes. I'll wait till they provide me with a new towel.
Smart. efficient. Cost effective.
The chair was - just - you know - irritating.
It stood there, right by where he wanted to get off the bed.
Just to spite him he stood there.
Why else would he be there?
So when he tackled him as he got off the bed he knew
exactly what to do.
He called him some names, and then kicked him
all the way to the wall. Serves him right.
That must have hurt.
The surprised chair just fell back silently to the floor,
and then went on with his usual work.
Its a very grinding job, to be a chair.
No wonder it is sometimes hard to tell between them
and the nurses.
I sincerely am sorry, and I hope the coffee was good.
Happened to the antibiotics night nurses the other day too.
The fat old women snappen and gave an insulting set.
Not a single word to trigger her, during the quiet night of spies
secretly injecting antibiotics into patients veins.
What would you have done if you had just woken up
from a nap in the airplane and saw just that?
Would you be calm, saying it is just a big building with patients?
He beleives in God,
and he beleives that God beleives in Claude, that's him.
But nobdy is King David except for King David himself.
Of all people, I, had better know that.
After all, it did work for me too.
But it was dangerous,
and having made a fool of himself,
he now has a 50-50 chance, or so he says.
As if I cared. He saved my life two times one half.
Comes to a perfect whole.
The first for having landed at his doorstep like a potter,
the second for having discovered voldemort a bit too early
in life for me to care.
So I am finally getting in touch with my roots and
compensating for my weak visiting hours.
|Sat, May 17 2008||50||Women||
Yottam will have his minus ninth birthday today.
Nobody would believe me if I told them I wasn't scared.
But obviously I'm not.
This position game already won me a cool mill
times zero crustacean probability,
without my even blinking to dry the tears,
nor intending on the whole.
Sorry, guys, lucky all of us if for nothing,
and thank you expert killers for having
made this so easy a task.
Three plus one.
I am bettering my performance numbers by a factor
of three with each new hire.
And this is just the leftovers in this one.
Happy birthday Yottam.
Nekko will have a private room at the expense of losing
me and the rest of the apartment.
The Ray guitar seat neatly unfolds to the right number of
pieces, so its all very compact.
Such is life.
|Sat, May 17 2008||60||Women||
It is not the same club,
but it is at least a mile high.
|Sun, May 18 2008||70||Women||
Mussia is definitely an odd average.
She was my first friend in the department.
On my first day she was having the daily fight
with some other nurse or two,
just as I was desperately looking for a towel
to wipe out my feverish sweat,
so she snapped at me:
Excuse me, you are in our way, would you move please!
Sure! - I said, and disappeared under the hood.
I am an obedient patient, or was rather,
being that it was my first day.
To my disappearing back she asked what was it that I needed,
and I turned around and said, just a towel, but it is not urgent.
It took uder two minutes for her to show up by my bed
with a towel, and she kept petting me since.
For the past week I have been arriving at the hospital
only to receive my dose of zinacef 750mg,
at 6AM, 12PM, and 9PM, and otherwise I am officially
not there, on account of winking with Klein that I refuse
treatment and therefore am free to come and go as I please.
So I showed at 9PM sharp and Mussia is the head nurse.
As usual she went out of her way and busy schedule to
make sure I don't wait too long for my infusion.
After all, she knows for some time now that after that
I have to carry the branula home, and she doesn't
want to waste my time there waiting for her.
I decided she would be my coffee target for tonite.
Every day I try to buy one nurse a coffee,
never the same one.
It takes fifteen minutes to beg visitors to change some coins
for the machine, just to discover it broke,
and walk over to the other building where there is one that
works, and back over to the department with the coffee.
Mussia looks forty something.
I look thirty something but am forty seven.
One of the tasks of a head nurse is to be mother-like
and condesending, and obnoxious of course.
This combo can create odd situations.
Why are you bringing me coffee in the middle of the night.
I too have to sleep sometime you know.
I'm not your age anymore, and can't have coffee that late.
I just make a towel turn and leave.
You can't win them all.
I tried to put a smile on her face and what do I get -
if I am to recover the lost smile, I must respond with:
Its OK. Rather, you just Look old.
I'd rather preadmit my defeat,
hide a smile behind a towel back, and disappear.
To my back she keeps wining: You wasted your money!
My smile is already there, so I use it to think about
the four NIS cost for the blog entry at theora.com
which I am now almost rushing to write.
|Tue, May 27 2008||100||Women||
|Fri, May 30 2008||100||Women||
The fortress smells smoke where there is no cause.
The ex smells men where there is no cause.
The man smells war where there is no cause.
What do we win?
|Sun, Jun 01 2008||100||Women||
And in the end 0=0.
Merav showed at 9:05 PM.
|Tue, Jun 17 2008||100||Women||
At the risk of repeating myself,
Yottam will have his minus ninth birthday tonite.