Mon Feb 27, 2006

100

First Hit

Bible without God.
A world without angels.
How can you hit an angel in his sleep.
The Israelites are greater than God.
It is well entrenched in our psychology.

Genesis, Chapter 32, V. 28:
Ki Sarita Im Elohim Vatuchal
"Your Name shall no longer be called Jacob,
but Israel,
for you have struggled with God and with men,
and have prevailed."

The story goes like this:

Jacob lead his entourage to cross a river one evening.
There was a man there who would not let him cross,
and they had a good fight about it all night long.
Come dawn, both exhausted from the fight,
either side still guarding his turf while both crawling
helpless on the ground, they mostly had a man to man talk:
I still won't let you cross, would you let it go, and leave,
Please?
Not until you at least apologize or otherwise appease
me by giving me your farewell blessing
and we quit as friends.
So what's your name, anyway.
Its Jacob.
No longer. from now on, call yourself wonGod.
Its pronounced Israel (in Hebrew),
because you have fought with an angel
of God and won over. Go with my blessing.
And he turned and started walking away.
So what's Your name, anyway.
He turned around and the aura of the sun of dawn
behind allowed only a faint smile to show on his
darkened face: what's it to you?
He turned and disappeared into the haze of dawn.

But the bible never lies. Not if you read it right.
Even though there is no God.
And the story was written from the perspective of one side
of the river. The Israeli side.
The Israelites have been beaten, abused and tortured
countless times, never a story to be left untold
or hidden behind masks of pretended victory.
Why on earth create such a weird mess of events
over a small loss in a fight over a small and meaningless
river crossing, and mark the victor, the enemy, as an angel
of God, thereby praising him, against all odds?

This is the story which gave Israel its name:

It is the pure foresight of being able to distinguish
between good and evil, that Jacob has reached
over that night.
Neither side wanted to actually hurt the other.
This is why the fight took all night.
It doesn't take a whole night to pull a gun and shoot.
This is not an enemy, he is good-guys, an Angel.
In a Godless, justice-less world.
And this capacity to tell between good and evil against all
pride and hormones, and act accordingly,
with utmost restraint,
trusting your judgment that the the other side is not evil,
and so can not possibly hurt you,
deserves the right to father a people.

There is no God, and you must trust your conscience
and never hurt the Angels.

Thus quote the Raven: nevermore.
Please.

Tue Feb 28, 2006

300

Life Wish

If I had done the same I'd later say in the garden
that it happened just like the first time.
But I would still be wrong, just expressing anger.
You can't not pull the trigger and later say you did.


Reggy told me that in the last fight with her husband
she had threatened him she would jump out the window
with their baby.

Presumably in order to prevent this sad event,
this angel of a husband,
jumped out of the window himself.


The notion of trying to help someone by dying
had sprouted many thuoghts.

Reggy felt guilty for years, while I was hiding
extreme philosophical anger towards her husband.
Reggy did not pull the trigger. He did.

It is very pour judgement based on a totally
screwed up philosophical and psychological
makeup to think you can help anyone when you are dead.

One can only be as altruistic as one is egotistical.

The composition of these thoughts I call: Life Wish.

Reggy