Mon Mar 6, 2006

50

2nd

"Two inches from my knee. beware!"

I was pressing my own knee against hers
before the sentence finished echoing in my head.
I then semi realized that this has occurred and was
immediately verbal about it, as usual.

"Not close enough", I said with the pride and confidence
of a well defended warrior,
like I was trained to be in the two years of Nin-Jitzo.

Then, I panicked.
The realization was the real blow.
The fact that such thoughts had crossed my mind and
called my body to action was horrifying.
That I was ready to share in the violence and expressed it, body and words.

I ran as quickly as I could, remembering the last time
I was so quick to run scared in split seconds.

It had occurred twice in 24 hours on October first of last year.
Frankly, I must be totally traumatized still,
the violence then was much more real.

Mon Mar 6, 2006

200

Daughters

The first one is against change.

The chronological first one wrote:
"Lo Me-fachedet letaken et atzmi
yo-da-at she ze rak bishvili."

It is OK to have both being first.

Come to think of it,
I should be better off 3 to 2
even if this were not so.

I have already promised you
I will take all the roles as necessary.

Tue Mar 7, 2006

200

Exploitation

So far, it seems I was the one doing the exploiting:
My life wish is ten times stronger,
I am not nearly as happy as I was just a short while back, but,
I am, I am happy, it is fun loving, and it was fun making love.
I forgot these four simple facts, and now I remember.
Too bad if I was not able to give anything meaningful in return.
Have I changed anything?