OK, this is going to be a bit long.
When I start wrting in the middle of the night
in a metaphore-like manner, (with fables and riddles),
and nobody can understand me...
And then later I find I was somewhat overexcited,
and I regret that I was not understood.
So first, I am happy you gave me another chance,
while the sun is looking through the window, watchful,
making sure I am alert.
I hope so far this wasn't complicated, because it seems
it is going to get just a bit more complicated,
and I promise to read at least twice more
before I press the button. so here goes:
Your position of advantage comes for my
frustrating experiences on the net,
seeking a soul as young as my own,
and so approaching the young,
usually to find out within a few conversation,
in the better cases, that the age is too frightning.
So you are in a position of advantage
within the context of my courtship attept
and for our age difference,
and so I try to mascarade it and please forgive me.
The attempt to mascarade is in my trying to connect
to the things that you wrote,
for which I had such an extraordinary interest in you.
And if we succeeded in connecting, then we can forget
about the age difference and the f...ing site..
So you say you're freeky without shame,
and later explain so they don't get too scared.
Who's scared?
I guess everyone in your age group, as they havn't grown
enough to understand how true is what you say,
and that is because it is not that natural, given your age,
to already understand such things.
So if you are looking on the net, in your age group,
for that which you wrote, then:
You must be dreaming.
But age is just another net filter criterion
to save the the first date.
If you meet the one who fits your crazyness on the street,
then by the time you ask him how old he is,
it will be way too late.
Because what makes it click we don't realy understand,
and the list of merits from the net forms only
interferes with people trying to express themselves,
and search for love,
without feeling like sitting in a home job interview.
And if this click happened, it still doesn't mean all that much.
After that you start living life,
and with all the craziness that clicked so well at first,
in the end there is day to day,
and if from that we have managed to create joy
throughout life, then in the end of life,
I will be able to tell you,
that you made me happy in life,
and that which you are, and now I know,
is the list of merits I should have
put on the net when we were young,
and I found you there.
And on to the phrasing:
I do not wish to meet the honest, straight, open,
kind, petting, or any other merit that is a
life-grade one cannot give before life is over.
After it is over, I will give you the final grade,
if I am alive at the time,
or in other words, if I am ever crtical of you,
you can always pull out a print of this...
because if
I fell in love with you,
I will accept everything anyway,
and if not, than what of it.
"You will let me know" is gentle phrasing
to say you will die before I do,
meaning now that I am alive and you are not,
I can take my concience for a talk,
and ask him if I really made you happy in life,
and can sleep well.
But the soft skin brings us back to the age difference.
If you die before me, it is probably when in my arms,
very young, in some tear guzzling movie scene.
And a bit more for tear drying:
I had already written that those four lines were not
originally written for you.
The rest of the message was.
